Erma Bombeck Quotes.

Grandparenthood is one of life’s rewards for surviving your own children.
Cats invented self-esteem.
One thing they never tell you about child raising is that for the rest of your life, at the drop of a hat, you are expected to know your child’s name and how old he or she is.
Some say our national pastime is baseball. Not me. It’s gossip.
It takes a lot of courage to show your dreams to someone else.
Never have more children than you have car windows.

There is one thing I have never taught my body how to do and that is to figure out at 6 A.M. what it wants to eat at 6 P.M.
I have a theory about the human mind. A brain is a lot like a computer. It will only take so many facts, and then it will go on overload and blow up.
I come from a family where gravy is considered a beverage.
Once you get a spice in your home, you have it forever. Women never throw out spices. The Egyptians were buried with their spices. I know which one I’m taking with me when I go.
Children make your life important.
It is not until you become a mother that your judgment slowly turns to compassion and understanding.

When a child is locked in the bathroom with water running and he says he’s doing nothing but the dog is barking, call 911.
Most women put off entertaining until the kids are grown.